The term in “the closet” is used when you have something you are hiding, and you don’t want to disclose unto others. When it comes to sexuality, being “in the closet” is a term that is used to describe a homosexual person that does not want to disclose his or her sexual orientation. It is an adjective that is used for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender that are yet to disclose their sexual identity to others.
Believe it, you wouldn’t want to remain in the closet for the rest of your life. You cannot continually hide your identity, it will only limit you socially, and leaves you with depression. The best option you can take is to disclose your sexual identity to others, then you will not be restricted because of hiding your identity. You need to uncover the self – made mask and start coming clean to yourself and to the society, be happy for who you are and what you are made of.
Coming out of the closet might painful process; it might be a lengthy process or short process or commemorative one, it all rest on your distinctive conditions and your approach. Even though, the North American societies have laws that safeguard the lesbians and gays but many women and men still prefer to remain in the closet because of the fear of how people is going to react to them. Many thoughts such as “will my friends still stay with me?”, “will they interact with again?”, and “will they not make it public” might be the reason while many do not want to come out of their closet.
It is certain that you cannot remain in the closet forever, but when are you going to come out? It is quite easy to write on a paper about coming out of paper, but taking the actions goes the other way round.
However, below are some helpful tips that will surely help you to come out your closet and start visioning positive things about yourself, seeing yourself in a different world.
HOW TO COME OUT OF YOUR CLOSET
- Appreciate yourself: when the issue of sexuality arises, the greatest problem you have to confront as a gay or lesbian or bisexual is accepting yourself for what you are. If you cannot accept yourself for what you are, definitely others will not appreciate you. If you proposed to come out from the closet and let the world know that you are gay, or lesbian or bisexual indeed, you have to be confidential about your sexual identity.
Though you have different sexual orientation from others, show to them that you are proud of what you are. Being inferior will not work, it will only worsen the situation. Instead, stand straight and look at them straight in the eyes with dignity when about disclosing your sexual identity. In this way, you earn their respect by being honest to them and they will know that you really know what you are saying.
- Be prepared to pay the price: “To every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction” says Newton’s 3rd law of motion. Be prepared to bear the consequence that follows your decision about revealing your true sexual identity. If is necessary to examine yourself if you are ready for the reactions that might follow your decision. If you are not ready, you can delay the idea of coming out or you continue to live in your obscurity – you wouldn’t want to that, right? So wait till the time you can bear the consequence that follows before taking the step of disclosing your sexual identity.
- Reveal yourself first to those you trusted: To avoid unfavorable reactions, the first set of people you should first disclose yourself to should be your close friends. Not just anybody, nor your neighbor or acquaintance. Since you were so close that you’ve earn each other’s trust, if you are going to be accepted of people, they are the first group of people that first accept you for what you are.
If you are filled with anxiety and cannot come out to a large group of friends, you can consider approaching them one by one or in twos. Ensure to make them know that your being a gay does not affect your friendship relationship with them. Once you are accepted by your friends, it boosts your confidence to open up to the world your sexual identity. It may go in the opposite side when you friends are not really true friends.
- Be lenient in your words to your Parents: The most difficult part of coming out of the closet is confessing to your parent that you are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Though they happened to be the most thoughtful and caring parents you have the whole world, breaking out the silence regarding your sexual identity might not bring a positive reaction. The best way of opening such a discussion with your parent might be to start discussion on a movie about gays and ask their thoughts about it, this way, you will know what they stand for about the issue. It is not necessary you come out to both of your parent at the same time. You can come out to your mum first, since they are more compassionate and caring about you, then when you plan about coming out to your dad, you might seek the consent of your mum.
Do not consider what others will say about you. It is not really about others, it is all about you. Not all people are open minded most especially on issues about sexuality, but do not let this withhold you.